Whether you are recovering from an eating disorder or just learning to love and accept yourself at a higher weight for your own sanity and happiness – most of us are guilty of keeping our old clothes in our closet just in case.
It’s time to stop doing that.
It’s time to get rid of everything too small for you.
I know this isn’t easy. Maybe you have nice expensive clothes or clothes with sentimental value.. I had clothes like that, they also reminded me how thin I once was. I didn’t want to let go of because a small part of me thought one day I might go back to that weight.
One day I tried to put all of the small clothes back on and cried uncontrollably in my closet when I realized how much weight I had gained. Even though I had known it and accepted it already – facing that fact again in such a visual way was extraordinarily difficult. What I ended up doing instead was putting them all in a bag and putting them in a storage closet far away from where I could see them every day. After a few months, I found the bag and realized I had never missed the clothes or wanted to wear them after all. So in that one moment of bravery I donated everything.
I realized that just having their presence in my closet was a trigger to my old behavior. It was a signal to myself that one day I may give up on the recovery I worked so hard for and the happiness I earned just to fit into a size 2 again. But once the clothes were gone for a while I noticed that I stopped having those thoughts while I was getting dressed every day. I had given up the final reminder of my illness and that allowed me to move forward and on with my life.
A few other awesome things happened too, I got to shop for new clothes in the correct size and I lost the emotional attachment that I once had to clothes. Now, while clothes are still important to me and a fun way to express my personality and style – I don’t assign emotional value to them like I used to and can prune and curate a more conscious wardrobe for myself.
So here I am to tell you that instead of keeping the clothes you can’t fit in around just get them out of your house as fast as possible. Once you stop fixating on possibly losing weight again, and let go of the notion that you might ever return to the unhealthy behaviors that made you that thin in the first place you might be surprised to find a brighter, happier, more authentic version of yourself. It’s time to stop fighting to fit into a size 0 and use that space in your brain for more important things. Don’t worry about losing the weight – just lose the clothes!